The Judge Your Neighbour (JYN) Worksheet

The following is offered as a more in depth exploration of the Judge Your Neighbour worksheet.

• When filling out this worksheet we take dictation from the mind. It is an exercise in following the simple instructions.

• Write short, simple sentences.

• The worksheet is completed in stillness, anchored in a specific situation.

• It’s not about being spiritual or trying to be nice/good or less harsh.

• It’s about putting the ego onto paper.

1. In this situation, who angers, confuses, hurts, saddens, or disappoints you, and why?

   I am _____ with ____ because

   This is about identifying what you are thinking and believing, from the perspective of a specific situation that you are anchored in.

2. In this situation, how do you want him/her to change? What do you want him/her to do?

   I want ______ to _____

   This is about our WANTS. We can think of it like the child’s emotional tantrum.

   Whenever we are criticising or requiring another to change, we are attempting to control or manipulate them.

3. In this situation, what advice would you offer him/her? “He/she should/shouldn’t...”

   He/she should ____

   He/she shouldn’t _____

   This is about the ADVICE we have for the other. It can be thought of like the super ego who knows what’s best for THEM!

   As Katie says, “All the advice I ever gave was for me to hear.”

4. In order for YOU to be happy in this situation, what do you need him/her to think, say, feel, or do?

   I need _____ to _____

   This is about your NEEDS i.e.: what YOU need in order to be happy in this situation. Be specific.

5. What do you think of him/her in this situation? Make a list. (It’s okay to be petty and judgmental.)

   He/she (_____ ) is _______

   Here we are encouraged to list all our petty thoughts and judgements that we are projecting onto the other.

   This is what the ego has been waiting for! Don’t censor it! Notice if you try to soften your words, even if it’s a subtle adjustment. The ego is a trickster! It can be sneaky and want to appear less harsh or more spiritual. Notice if this arises and continue to simply write down exactly what your mind is offering up.

6. What is it about this person and situation that you don’t ever want to experience again?

   I don’t EVER want …

   This is about exploring the future you are creating if you continue to hold on to the resistance of what you “don’t want”.

   So the invitation is to explore what we are still afraid of experiencing again. It shows us where our work isn’t complete.

   This is also why we explore the turnarounds:

   • I am WILLING or I am OPEN to experiencing this again and noticing why that could be true.

   • Then we look at “I am LOOKING FORWARD to experiencing this which is a stronger way to test the mind and see what remains or is left of our belief.